At the end of last December we buried my grandmother in her hometown. That was her illusion during the last months of her life. And, in the silence of the returning home on the highway, the unexpected happened for me, something that made me realize that God is always at our side.
We were entering the north face of the mountains in heavy rain, and from the beginning of the coming back home, a question hovered within me. “Will Grandma be okay? Have we done well bringing her here?” I loved her so much. She took care of me in many moments and now she was gone. That’s why I kept repeating to myself: “Will she be okay right now?” And then it happened. Then came the answer.
A gap opened in the clouds and the sun peeked out timidly, but with enough force to draw in the sky the brightest, cleanest and most beautiful rainbow I had ever seen. Yes, I felt that, through it, my grandmother was addressing me, she was answering: “Yes, I am very well, look at my smile.” I wanted to hide the tears that came to my eyes. They were tears of joy. Because I understood that she already rests in peace with God.
What to say? Rejoice at this joy and congratulate this sensitivity. But then, right away, warn against the risk of seeking visible answers to the supernatural. And this for many reasons: because the supernatural is always very mysterious and it is not easy to distinguish what is the hand of God and what is mere chance. And, above all, because when one gets used to looking for these kinds of answers, what will happen when they are missing, when God responds, as he does so many times, with silence and darkness?
God is love and love is always fullness, but not always comfort.
Translated and adapted from Razones para vivir (José Luis Martín Descalzo, 1991).
